I recently returned home from a writing retreat in Montana, appropriately named Haven Writing Retreat. I felt changed when I was there but now that I’m home, I’m not so sure. Perhaps I was expecting a monumental shift in the areas of my life that were difficult before I left. Not perhaps. I was definitely hoping that everything would be different because I felt so different. Different how? Different happier. More open. More myself. Bursting with the dopamines of nature and the serotonins of creativity.
So what happens when we return home from a life-changing experience? How are our lives changed when we travel from then to now? There to here?
Instead of exploring how I thought my life would be different after this transformative experience, how does my life feel different, a week into my “Re-entry”?
I am writing consistently…everday…even though I haven’t worked on my #1 project, my screenplay, (okay there was one day I didn’t write. Apologies, Apollo). I did not do that before.
I know for a fact that I want to move in at least a year. I chose to do a writing retreat in a place I am madly in love with: Montana. This recent week elevated my love to devotion, to yearning, to fiery passion. Being surrounded by such natural beauty, transcended into my skin, into my soul, shining light on each tiny moment. Home is a feeling but a place is a feeling. Why not feel both?!
I have noticed I see people with more curious eyes. Being surrounded by such spectacular strangers for several days, I learned their individuality, their power, their stories, their happiness, their sadness, their inspirations and their voices. These spectacular strangers and our fearless leader/author, taught me the most important lesson a writer in a competitive field could learn: every person’s story is important and deserves to be told and listened to. Regardless of whether he/she writes, everyone deserves to be listened to intently and presently, and appreciated for their idiosyncrasies, their experiences, their growth and their love.
I’ve learned to not share every waking moment, feeling, epiphany and experience with everyone. Some of these milestones and miniscule occasions are just mine. And mine alone.
I guess I was hoping for a monumental shift in myself but life-changing didn’t happen overnight. It takes work, attention, awareness, action and love…for myself, for him, for my friends, for my family. My life is different because I want to work even harder at this.
I now see people. Every walk of life, every bank account, every wardrobe, every vehicle is the same. We are one. And we are all trying our best to connect with each other, ourselves and our truths. ALL OF US.
Just as the experience gave me bits and pieces at a time, so will reacclimating to normal life. But the dread of traffic, more people and less trees dissipated as I was humbled again when my teddy bear dog greeted me with welcoming groans and my boyfriend unlocked our door, to reveal our comforting and loving nest.
I like being home. Especially with my new eyes.
DIANA DAVIS-DYER 